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People with bipolar shouldn’t drink caffeine.
People who are married shouldn’t sleep with the help.






Harsh words hang in the air
over my cream and sugar alchemy,
terminating family ties
earlier than they’re reset in motion.
Conversation of chords lie,
lack luster, next to the napkins
Fabrication creates the common interests
I had always wanted,
in an infantile state.
I wouldn’t know if his eyes still look like mine
Failure’s not flattering-
but I didn’t make the grade
when I tried to grasp his gaze.
One hug goodbye
to make his leave of absence woefully worthwhile.
©2008-2009 ~DAWNeatsdishsoap
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Submitted: May 5, 2008
File Size: 844 bytes
Image Size: 34.6 KB
Resolution: 410×268
Comments: 30
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Author's Comments

to see his features on my face.

I think I'm done now.
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Comments


Hm, please do add.

Cream and sugar alchemy...
A birthday cake?
Coffee.
Birthday cakes are good too.

I'll probably finish tomorrow.
Haha, coffee, duh.

You really like coffee don't you? It seems recurrent in what you write.
Haha, well basically it's all I consume.

What I write is true, so it seems fitting.
really love the opening two lines

looking forward to any additions

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Kilroy was here
Haha, I feel weird about the opening lines because I took the first one out of my dad's mouth.
makes it all the more unique :D

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Kilroy was here
I really liked the "cream and sugar alchemy" bit. This is definetely my favorite of your work. I don't think you need to add anymore, for me it's pretty clear and strong as it is with the photos, and the "...his features on my face" comment. And also the shortness is haikuesque, I like it.
Just one thing, as the first two phrases are in italics they don't need the quotation marks. Sorry if this last remark sounded irrelevant.

--
"A drawing is simply a line going for a walk" -Paul Klee

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